Taco Bell Comes To Thailand?

I’m in Bang Sak and Marcus is getting ready to put on a movie. “Hold on guys, I’m going to run and get something to snack on” I announce. Marcus offers me a motorbike but I insist on taking my skateboard. So I head off down the highway on my skate board. I keep going past Ban Niang and even Khao Lak because I can’t find anything that I want to eat. Eventually I am going up over the hill and I come down near the elephant camp on the backside of the mountain. As I come down I see a huge, American Style shopping center that has gone up over night. They have a “Logans”, “McDonalds”, “Old Navy”, everything you can think of. So I driving around in there a bit and Ada pulls up next to me with Ben in the grey car. She stops to chat for a few moments and before you know it Ben is gone. “Ben!! Where did you go?” Ben pokes his head out of the second story window and waves. “You have 5 seconds to get down here!” Ada warns before beginning her count. “One, Two, Two and a half, Three…” Ben runs up out of breath. “What were you doing? That’s not your house!” She tells him. So they say goodbye and head back to Bang Sak. So I start skating through this shopping center when all of the sudden I loose my skateboard! It goes flying down the street towards this pregnant lady as her husband is helping her across the street. She can barely walk and as I look at the moo moo she is wearing I can’t determine whether she actually has any legs. She stands at about three feet tall and the rest of her proportions seem correct, just no legs. At about this time the skateboard nails her in the back. Her husband is understandably furious. As I run up to retrieve the board he starts yelling at me. I start apologizing as best I can in Thai. At that point he stops me and says “I’m Singaporean!” So he continues chewing me out telling me that I should use the wheel lock when I’m not using the skateboard to keep it from flying off, etc.. Just then I see something magical and amazing over his left shoulder! A Taco Bell Sign! What?!? Taco Bell has come to Thailand!! Woo Hoo! So I grab my board and rush over there. As I dash inside I see a dining room empty except for three thais sharing a corner booth. I run to the counter to buy them out. Man, I can just imagine the faces of the folks back in Bang Sak when I walk in with Taco Bell! So I start to order and he tells me that they are closed already. What? “When do you close?” I ask. “9:00pm” he replies. I look at my watch and it’s only 9:04pm! Oh come on! “What time do you open” I ask. He responds by saying “Sip mong yen.” Which means 10th hour of the evening. What? It only goes up to 6. “Array na Khrup Sip Mong Yen Chai Mai?” I verify. “Chay” he confirms. Crud. That does not make any sense. How am I ever going to get any Tacos if I don’t know what time they open. I don’t want to reveal that I don’t understand his Thai so I just say thank you and walk out. When I get back outside the man and his pregnant wife are there. He says that he wants me to have his police scanner and CB radio. Uh, ok. So I say thank you and I take it. About that time Dean pulls up in the white car and unloads a lazy boy recliner. “Can you take this back to Bang Sak for me?“ So I take the chair and begin dragging it along. A little further down the highway Marcus, Bum and some other American’s pull up on various motorbikes. “There you are!” Marcus says “What happened to you? I thought you were going to grab some food. Why do you have a police scanner, CB radio and a recliner?” “It’s a long story” I reply “but I found a Taco Bell!” “WHAT?!?” everyone yells at once. So I begin to tell them about the location and about how they were closed. “There were people eating in the dinning room? You could see and smell the food but they were closed? Brutal!” Marcus exclaims “I know!” I respond. So we start to head back to Khao lak. One of the Americans, Ronnie from The Shield, helps me with the chair. “Where did you get the police scanner and the radio?” he asks. So I explain. Then I get an idea to put the chair on the skateboard. “Ronnie tilt the chair back so I can get the skateboard under it” I explain. But he does not get it and he just tilts it the wrong way. “No tilt it back!” wrong again. This goes on for awhile before he finally understands. Eventually we get the chair on the skateboard and we all head back home, without our Taco Bell.